


Boy next door (or in the building, anyway)

by mckinleysbitch (orphan_account)



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Billy Hargrove is a Mess, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Future Fic, Gay Billy Hargrove, M/M, Reunions, Slow Burn, double trouble, kind of, potentially cheating? we'll see what happens, to enemies to friends to lovers, we'll see if i can actually commit to taking this one slow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-11-16 02:57:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18086147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/mckinleysbitch
Summary: Billy was having a really good time. He liked all these people, all these other 20-somethings who had their shit figured out about as much as Billy did. It was reassuring. So he was having a good time. That is, he /was/ having a good time, and then the door opened, sometime around midnight, and in walked the last fucking person on earth Billy had thought he’d run into again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell I like future fics? This one's a prompt no one wanted to do with me so I'm writing it myself god dammit.

Billy had finally gotten out. 

 

Hawkins had trapped him, for a while. 

 

After he’d graduated, he’d wanted to leave, but then Max still had a while left before she could do the same. So he’d waited around, found a cheap apartment in town, worked in the garage, mostly so she’d have a place to be if she needed to get away from the house.

 

When Neil died, he’d moved back into the house, doing his best to help out, most of the bills falling into his hands. He worked hard, drove the kids around until they were old enough to get into trouble by themselves. And then, it was like he’d blinked, and ten years had gone by, and it was just him and Susan in the house, Max off in school in California. It was good to see her get out before he had.

 

When Susan died, he was alone. He was alone in an empty house that felt like it was filled with ghosts, and it wasn’t good for him. He was a fuckin’ recluse, work and home and back, on autopilot through most of his days. When he finally decided to sell the house, finally get the fuck out of that town, he’d felt a little guilty, but he knew he couldn’t hold on anymore. Max had enough friends here that it would be easy for her to find a place to stay if she was back in town, there was no reason to stick around. Not really.

 

So he’d gotten out. He’d quit his job, sold the house, and moved himself out to Chicago. It wasn’t LA, it wasn’t the California sunshine he’d been dreaming about for the last decade, but it was better than nothing. It was somewhere he could be himself without it being some big secret.

 

His new apartment was nothing fancy, but it was nice, and his neighbors seemed nice enough. The few he’d met while moving, anyways. He’d even been invited to some get together tonight by the guy across the hall, he wanted to say… Eric? A party on the third floor with other people in the building. This was going to be good. It was good. Billy had to convince himself that he could manage this without falling back into the routine. It would be harder to be isolated when he was in a building full of people. It was good.

 

He was nowhere near unpacked by the time 10 rolled around, but he figured he’d give himself a break, run down to the corner store to pick up some beers, and loosen up around a bunch of people he’d never met. No predispositions about him, no expectations. It was refreshing. So he went, and he mingled, and he was having a surprisingly good time. Eric introduced him to a bunch of other people, whose names he definitely wouldn’t remember when he went home, but at least he’d have some friendly faces, people to say hi to in the mailroom or on the elevator. And they seemed to like him, which wasn’t really that much of a surprise. Despite himself, Billy was still just as charming as he used to be, still as handsome, albeit less angry. He’d cut his hair, sure, opted for ratty band tshirts and flannels over the fuckin’ unbuttoned silk shirts he used to wear, but King Billy was still somewhere in there. He just needed to get his social muscles working again.

 

Billy was having a really good time. He liked all these people, all these other 20-somethings who had their shit figured out about as much as Billy did. It was reassuring. So he was having a good time. That is, he /was/ having a good time, and then the door opened, sometime around midnight, and in walked the last fucking person on earth Billy had thought he’d run into again. 

 

Steve Harrington.

 

He’d walked in, holding a case of beer, immediately laughing with someone who’d answered the door (Dana? He couldn’t remember) and heading to the kitchen. He looked good. Of course he looked fucking good, he’d always looked good. But this was like a fucking punch in the gut, like the universe saw him enjoying himself and decided to fuck with him a little. He must have been staring, because Eric clapped a hand on his shoulder with a laugh, clicking his tongue.

 

“Good taste, bad timing.” 

 

Billy shook himself out of his own head, looking over at the other. “What?”   
  


“Steve, I mean.” Billy raised an eyebrow, “I’m not blind Billy, and you’re not subtle, I’m just warning you before you make a fool of yourself.” Eric was definitely drunk, drunker than Billy was, and he vaguely wondered whether Eric had made the same mistake himself. “His girlfriend’s got him whipped.” Billy just nodded, chewing the inside of his lip. 

 

“I think I’m gonna head, man.” He shook his can of beer, half full, “You want this?” Eric took it out of his hand and took a sip without an answer.

 

“Lame.” Billy laughed a little, rolling his eyes.

 

“I’m just tired, been sifting through my shit all day and I’m not even done.” That seemed to be enough for him, and he nodded, hand slipping off Billy’s shoulder as he made his way to find someone else to talk to. Billy slipped out of the apartment quietly, honestly impressed that he’d managed to avoid Steve. This was going to be a shitshow.

 

\------------------

 

_ 1984 _

 

_ “Y’know, yer fuckin’ pretty Harrington.” Billy was a little drunk, and high, leaning against the counter in Tommy’s kitchen, Steve sitting up on it smoking a joint. There was a party roaring in the next room, same chaotic high school shit as usual, and Billy was feeling… a little too bold maybe. It earned him a laugh from Steve though, coughed out around a puff of smoke before the joint was passed back to him. _

 

_ “Yeah, you call me pretty boy, I’m pretty sure I picked up on that.” Billy rolled his eyes, taking a hit, looking over at the other. _

 

_ “Yeah, well I mean it this time dumbass.” He’d meant it every time, but that was a little more than he was willing to admit. It felt more sincere now that he wasn’t pairing it with a punch in the face. Steve just looked over at him, eyes half lidded. _

 

_ “Huh?” This was stupid. He was drunk, and high, and this was fucking stupid. _

 

_ “I /mean/,” he shifted a little off the counter, still holding the joint in his hand, turning to face Steve, “You’re fuckin’ pretty Harrington. I like pretty.” He tried to psychically communicate what he meant, hoped Steve wasn’t so oblivious that he wouldn’t pick up on it.  _

 

_ “Oh.” Billy could see the gears working in his head, could see him putting everything together, and suddenly he felt his nerves start to build. “/Oh/.” He looked back at him, eyes widening a little, and Billy couldn’t help but breathe a laugh, rolling his own. _

 

_ “Took you fuckin’ long enough.” Steve seemed to be thinking it over, eyes on Billy. He felt a little too watched under his gaze, and he shifted a little, unable to stand still.  _

 

_ “I uh… you’re pretty too?” Steve was quiet, but Billy couldn’t have missed it if he tried. /Pretty/. He laughed, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, and when he noticed Steve’s eyes following the motion, he felt like he could relax a little. He was so fuckin’ in. He shifted a little closer, ending up between Steve’s knees, joint still burning between his fingers.  _

 

_ “That’s sweet, princess, but I’m not pretty,” Billy’s heart was fucking pounding in his chest, but he’d never show it, almost grateful for all the years he’d spent repressed. Made him better at keeping a straight face. He wasn’t sure how he ended up so close to Steve, pressing into the counter, “I’m hot.” Their faces were barely inches apart, and Steve laughed. It wasn’t really the reaction Billy was expecting, but it made him smirk anyway, cocking an eyebrow. “What, you don’t agree?” It took Steve a second to stop, the weed probably to blame for that one, but when he did, the tension fell right back down between them, and Billy could see him swallow. _

 

_ “I do.” Billy grinned, wolfish and wide, letting a hand fall on Steve’s thigh.  _

 

_ “Good.” Before he could really think about what he was doing, Billy closed the space between them, finding the other’s lips under his own and kissing him slow. They were both a little fucked up, and the kiss was lazy, and kind of sloppy, but /fuck/ it was hot. Steve was so fucking hot. His hands slid up the other’s thighs, teasing a little, and when Steve let out a breathy noise against his lips, Billy pulled back with a smirk. “Let’s get out of here, pretty boy.” Steve nodded, his face flushed. _

 

_ “Yeah, okay.” _


	2. The mailroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Billy finally run into each other and words are exchanged
> 
> also another flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long lol I got a little stuck with this story but I think I have a vision now thank u goodnight

It had been a little over a week since the party, since he moved in, and Billy had managed to avoid Steve. 

 

Well, not really. He’d avoided him in person, but he couldn’t get him out of his head. He was fucking  _ dreaming _ about him, about that summer, all golden light and soft kisses. It almost grossed him out, how nostalgic he was feeling. He didn’t like to dwell on the past, but he couldn’t fucking escape it.

 

“What the fuck.”

 

Shit. 

 

Billy had been thinking too hard, got distracted while he was getting his mail, hadn’t payed attention to who else came in. His eyes met Steve’s wide, almost angry, gaze, and Billy tried to seem just as shocked, tried not to let on that he’d known for a week that they were in the same building. “Uh,” was all he managed to get out, which obviously made him seem fucking suspicious. Steve looked good, better in the light. He didn’t seem as tired as he used to be, less tense.  _ Happy _ . Billy tried not to get distracted. 

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Okay, that seemed a little angrier. 

 

“I uh… live here?” He didn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but he couldn’t seem to get anything out the way he wanted to anyways. “I could ask you the same thing.” No he couldn’t. He knew. But Steve didn’t know that.

 

“Since when do you fucking live here?”

 

“Since last Saturday.”

 

“What the  _ fuck _ ” 

 

Steve seemed genuinely distressed, honestly surprised. Billy had almost expected him to figure it out. There was no doubt someone in the building had told Steve there was a new guy. For fuck’s sake, Billy’d met practically the whole building before he ran off to avoid this exact conversation. “It’s not like I knew you’d be here.” That part was true, anyway. He’d known Steve moved to Chicago, that’s where he’d gone when he’d left, off to work for daddy’s office, leaving Billy in the dust, but he honestly hadn’t ever expected to see him again. It had been ten years since then, he could have easily moved away. 

 

Steve just scoffed, rolling his eyes. “This is un-fucking-believable.” He grabbed his package off the table and pointed it at Billy, “I am not fucking doing this. Before turning on his heel and leaving the mailroom. 

 

To be honest, Billy couldn’t blame him. 

 

It wasn’t like the last time they’d seen each other had been particularly pleasant. Billy had been angry, he’d been so  _ angry _ back then. When Steve left, he hadn’t taken it well. It wasn’t a breakup, exactly, because you can’t break up with someone you were never really dating, but it felt like one. And Billy got angry, because it felt better than just being sad, and it seemed easier to hate Steve than to admit he really felt something for him. 

 

So he couldn’t blame Steve for being surprised, or upset, or whatever, that he was here. That he was living in his building, that they’d run into each other all the time. Actually, now that he’d seen his reaction, Billy wasn’t so keen on the idea anymore either. Fuck. How had he managed to fuck this up so fast?

 

\-----------

 

_ “Let me in pretty boy, it’s fucking hot. I wanna swim.” Billy knew Steve could hear him pounding on the door. He knew he could hear him shouting. He was just being a brat, as usual. It’s not like he’d come empty handed, he brought weed, and beer. He was a good fucking guy. He wasn’t even the rich one, and he was bringing shit over here for Steve. When the door finally opened, Steve was standing there, looking smug as all hell, clearly already swimming, a towel wrapped around his shoulders. _

 

_ “Oh, hey Billy. Did you knock?” Billy just rolled his eyes and pushed past him inside, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it on the couch.  _

 

_ “Fuckin’ spoiled brat,” Steve laughed at that, closing the front door as Billy made a bee-line for the freezer, pulling it open to inspect the contents. “Do you have-” Before he could finish asking, he lifted a bag of peas to reveal a box of popsicles, pulling it out and shaking it in Steve’s direction. “I guess there really is a reason I like you, princess. Always got what I need.” He heard Steve laugh as he took one out, pulling back the plastic wrapping and shutting the freezer door. When he turned back, Steve wasn’t standing in the kitchen anymore, and Billy laughed to himself when he found him already lounging outside, covered in fuckin’ tanning oil, eyes shut, ungrateful for Billy’s company as usual. “Lookin’ shiny.” he plopped down in a lounge chair next to him, stretching out. Steve seemed entirely unbothered by his presence. Brat. Unfortunately, Billy was good at getting his attention. He went to work sucking down his popsicle completely obnoxiously, loud slurping noises, moaning around it, the whole fuckin’ shebang. It took about ten seconds for Steve to open one eye and look over at him, opening the other just so he could roll them at him.  _

 

_ “You’re insufferable, you know that?” Billy licked his lips, stained red by the cherry ice, grinning back at the other. _

 

_ “Most people would say charming.” He ran his tongue up the side, catching the flavor as it melted, the knowledge that Steve was watching him only encouraged it. He glanced back at him, feigning innocence. “You’re a fuckin’ perv, Harrington. It’s just a popsicle.” He could see Steves cheeks flush, even as he rolled his eyes. _

 

_ “Not my fault you eat it like a whore.” Billy laughed, shrugging a little. He loved when Steve matched his energy, when he tried to be as much of a tease as Billy was, even as his face flushed deeper red. He took the whole pop into his mouth before pulling it back out, licking his lips again, not breaking eye contact with Steve. _

 

_ “Not a very nice thing to call me, princess.” He was nearly done, so he just pulled the last of it off the stick, pointing it at Steve, “I think you owe me an apology.” Steve licked his lips, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, and Billy grinned. _

 

_ “Yeah? Make me.” He was trying to egg him on, Billy could see it in his eyes. That was fucking exactly what Billy wanted. He pushed off his seat, barely having to move to find himself straddling Steve’s thighs, tugging at the elastic of his trunks. _

 

_ “So tough, pretty boy.” Billy looked down at him with a wolfish grin, and Steve propped himself up on his elbows, watching him. He leaned forward to capture his lips, just for a moment, Steve leaning up to meet him, relaxing against him. It was perfect, Steve was perfect, as sappy as that sounded. Billy felt like he was living in a fucking dream, out here in the sun with Steve, kissing him like it didn’t matter who saw, dipping his hand below his waistband. He was, really. This was all a secret as soon as he stepped back out of this house, and until he came back, it was just a fantasy. But for now… he wasn’t going to question it. For now he could just enjoy it. _


	3. Beth from 2B's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is getting over it
> 
> Billy never will tbh

“Fuck.” The word was out of his mouth almost before he roused himself out of sleep. He was still in his work clothes, having gotten home from the garage and fallen right into bed for what was supposed to be a cat nap. It had turned into a three hour sleep, dreams and all, and Billy rubbed his eyes, still a little bleary from crashing so hard. He looked at the time, swearing again under his breath. He was late already, of course. There was another party, Beth in 2B’s birthday, and Billy had promised Eric he’d show. He was still trying to make a good impression on these people, after all, even after a good month and a half of living here. 

 

He’d also managed to avoid Steve almost completely, without really trying.

 

Or, more likely, Steve was trying very hard to avoid Billy. Billy was not doing so well on his end. He found himself almost going out of his way to run into Steve, without any luck, waiting just a little too long by the mailboxes, or holding the elevator for everyone who ran for it. Like he wanted to get Steve alone and just torture himself even more. As if the dreams weren’t enough.

 

God, the fucking  _ dreams.  _ Someone up there was fucking with Billy, because as soon as what he wanted was really, definitively out of his reach, it was all he could fucking think about. They were all about that summer, just replaying the highlights reel of his happiest moments over and over again. It was totally pathetic, that Billy couldn’t just let it go, that he was overtaken by nostalgia and regret the moment he saw Steve again.

 

He tried to shake himself out of it, to shake off the sinking feeling his dream had left him with, to try not to think about the fact that it wasn’t unlikely that Steve would be there tonight. He just had to take things as they came, just had to be able to be a fucking adult about this and accept that it wasn’t 1984 anymore, that they’d both lived their lives between then and now. It wasn’t Steve’s fault that Billy was still stuck, and he would respect whatever he wanted, if he wanted to avoid him completely. It was fine. Billy would be fine.

 

Respecting Steve’s wishes was proving to be harder than he thought.

 

Especially drunk.

 

_ Especially  _ after Beth told him she heard Steve had broken up with his girlfriend. 

 

Steve was here, he was at the party. They were existing in the same place without all hell breaking loose. That was a good start. He’d brought beer, and had stayed sitting in the kitchen, chatting with people, probably avoiding Billy, who was sat on the couch at the moment, trying not to look his way every two minutes. It was fucking /torture/.

 

At some point, everyone came around to do gifts, those who’d gotten Beth a gift, anyway, and then they all just sort of… stayed, and Billy lit up a joint to pass around, and honestly? He almost forgot Steve was there at all, despite him sitting in his eyeline the entire time. At some point, Billy pulled out his cigarettes, but Beth spotted him, waving him off. “Billy can you smoke outside? Weed is fine in here, but cigarette smoke sticks around for so long.” He shrugged, pushing off the couch, pulling one between his teeth. 

 

“Yeah, no problem. You wanna come?” He held out the box to Eric, who shook his head, sinking deeper into the couch. He was clearly too drunk to get downstairs right now anyway, so Billy just shrugged his jacked on, sticking the box back in his pocket.

 

“I’ll come.” Billy knew who’d said it before he looked, but he had to check, just to make sure he didn’t imagine it. But Steve was standing up, like he really was going to come out for a smoke with him. It took a lot of willpower not to question it out loud.

 

“Yeah, sure.” Billy’s head was going completely fucking insane right now, analyzing every reason Steve might be trying to get him alone. Maybe he wanted his final revenge, get a good hit in to try and get some closure. Billy wouldn’t blame him. Maybe he was going to try and be friends, to be civil. They did live in the same building, after all. It might be nice to not be constantly anxious every time he stepped into the elevator. Or maybe… well, Billy wasn’t going to let himself get carried away. This was still the same Steve that had been angry with him in the mailroom for just existing a few weeks ago, he couldn’t imagine he’d changed his tune /that/ much since then. He tried not to think about any of it too hard as he headed for the door, knowing Steve was following behind him. He took the stairs, just to avoid even thirty seconds of awkward silence with Steve when he didn’t have anything else to do, no cigarette or drink to keep him occupied. 

 

He stepped out into the cold before Steve was even down the stairs, lighting his cigarette and pulling out another for Steve, just assuming he wasn’t carrying his own. That’s how it’d been ten years ago, Billy was his personal cigarette dispenser. If it was any different now, Steve didn’t let it on, taking the stick from Billy and holding his hand out for the lighter, unspoken, like it was only yesterday that he’d left, and not a decade ago. They smoked in silence for a moment, both leaning against the building, neither really acknowledging the other. But Billy wasn’t feeling particularly patient, and he’d been wondering what was on Steve’s mind for weeks. He wasn’t sure he’d get another chance to try and figure out whatever the fuck was happening here.

 

“So,” He ashed his cigarette in front of him, taking another drag, “Guess you ain’t mad at me anymore.” He wasn’t sure if it was true, but it felt better than asking for forgiveness. He couldn’t open with that sappy shit. Steve just breathed a laugh next to him.

 

“Presumptuous.” He knew that tone, clipped tight. He hated it. He gritted his teeth a little, trying not to let it get to him.

 

“Well, you’ve been in the same room as me all night without spontaneously combusting. That’s gotta count for somethin’.” He looked over at Steve, chewing the inside of his lip, before taking another drag. “Heard about your girlfriend-” 

 

“-Ex Girlfriend.” Steve cut him off, voice bitter as he said it.

 

“Yeah, that’s what I heard.” He wasn’t sure what he was trying to do here, wasn’t sure why he’d brought her up. “Sorry. I don’t know what happened, but that sucks.” He could feel Steve relax a little next to him, let out a breath. 

 

“Yeah. It… it just wasn’t meant to last, I guess.” He sounded… fucking sad. This had to be just about the worst timing in the world for Steve, to have your ex move into your building like a week before you break up with your current girlfriend. Actually, Billy wondered if he had anything to do with that. Not assuming Steve was still in love with him, or anything, but having any ex around could put strain on a relationship.

 

“Happens,” Billy shrugged a little, ashing his cigarette again, “Her loss. Ain’t no one else like you.” He knew as soon as he said it that it was a bad idea, that it was too soon to try and… be anything more than tolerant of each other’s presence. But Steve just laughed, putting his cigarette out under his toe, sticking his hands in his pockets.

 

“Thanks.” When he looked at Billy this time, it was softer, his smile genuine. “I’ll see you around, Billy. I’m gonna turn in.” And then he was walking back inside, before Billy could get another word in, still standing there with his cigarette, a little dumbfounded. 

 

Well  _ fuck. _

 

\-----------

 

_ “Heard about you and Nancy.” They were standing outside the gym, smoking a cigarette before practice, leaning against the side of the School. Whatever this was, it was weird. They were… friends, somehow. Despite everything that’d happened since Billy’d moved to this nowhere town, he and Steve Harrington were friends. It could have something to do with the fact that Billy had suddenly decided he wanted to fuck Steve more than he wanted to fight him, but he wasn’t going to read too far into things right now.  _

 

_ “Yeah, it sucks.” He looked genuinely dejected, not like the King Steve everyone knew and loved. Must be tough to keep up appearances when your girlfriend cheats on you with the stalker freak.  _

 

_ “If it’s any consolation, he’s nowhere near as pretty as you.” He heard Steve scoff beside him, no doubt in Billy’s mind that he’d be rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I know, but seriously, man. Her loss, big time. Don’t think I haven’t heard the rumors.” That one got a laugh, which made Billy feel a little better. If he could just cheer Steve up a little, he was doing his job. He put his cigarette out against the wall, flicking the butt into the grass so no one would find a pile of them and out their smoking spot. Steve was smiling, just a little, as he took another drag.  _

 

_ “Thanks, man.” It wasn’t much, but as they headed back inside, Billy felt a little uplifted, a little better knowing he could make Steve laugh, even about this shit. _

 

_ He was in too fucking deep. _


	4. Can't keep a secret

Billy was settling in.

 

He’d been living here almost six months now, and he felt like he’d finally found a place he could be comfortable. He had made friends in the building, friends of friends met at parties, his job was going well, and with summer closing in, he really felt like he could breathe again. 

 

He’d become pretty good friends with Eric over the last few months, which was why he wasn’t beating his ass for sitting on his couch and playing fuckin doom in his underwear on a Sunday afternoon. He sat next to Eric, sprawled out over the space that wasn’t taken up by him, flicking a lighter over a joint without any luck, tossing it towards the garbage can when he realized it was empty. He nudged Eric with his foot.

 

“You got a lighter?” Eric nodded, pausing the game to get up and fish it out of his jacket pocket, tossing it to Billy as he sat back down. He eyed him a little as he lit the joint, turning his attention back to the game. 

 

“I noticed you talking to Steve a lot last night.” He glanced over at Billy, “I’m glad you guys are friends now. Seemed like you were a little weird around each other when you first met.” 

 

Billy nearly choked on the smoke in his lungs, coughing a little as it cleared out. Oh yeah, that was the other thing. No one really knew he’d known Steve before moving in here. Somehow, without planning it, they’d managed to keep that little fact from getting out. Something in him felt like it would be easier on everyone if they forgot it happened at all.

 

Even though Billy couldn’t forget. Even if it definitely was all he ever fuckin’ thought about around Steve.

 

“Yeah, uh.” Realistically, he couldn’t go much longer without admitting they hadn’t just met when Billy moved in, even if he didn’t really want to rehash their entire history to the entire building. But. “He was mad at me for somethin’ I did back in high school, but I think we’re good now.” He saw Eric raise an eyebrow, but he didn’t look away from the game.

 

“I didn’t know you two knew each other.” Billy took another hit off the joint, holding it out to the other when he looked his way again.

 

“Yeah we uh. Yeah, we do.” He flicked the lighter absently, considering, for just a second, just telling him about it. He was desperate for someone to vent to anyway. “We dated, sort of.” That got Eric’s attention, and he turned his away from the tv as he took a hit, looking at Billy.

 

“You  _ what?” _ Actually maybe this was a bad idea. Billy didn’t want to embarass Steve in front of his friends. He was the new guy here, maybe he shouldn’t be airing his dirty laundry. Eric was watching him now, though, eyes wide. It was a little late to backtrack. “In  _ high school _ ? How the fuck were either of you even  _ out  _ in high school?” Billy shrugged a little, more embarrassed to be talking about this than he’d been anticipating. 

 

“We weren’t, really. It just sort of… happened, I guess.” He flicked the lighter, lighting the joint again and taking a hit. “It was really just a summer fling, more than a relationship. But he was… I mean we were both the first guy either of us had ever  _ really  _ been with.” Eric looked totally dumbfounded, and Billy felt another twinge of guilt for talking about it.

 

“Hold on, you didn’t  _ move _ here for him, did you? Like this isn’t some big plot you’ve been keeping from me, right?” Billy rolled his eyes, breathing a laugh.

 

“No… I uh… No I didn’t. I didn’t know he’d be here.” He ran a hand over his face with a sigh. Because, yeah, he didn’t move here  _ for  _ Steve, but since getting here… it wasn’t like he didn’t  _ want  _ to try and rekindle something there. But he also didn’t want to push it. Ten years was a long time. Eric had an eyebrow raised at him, and Billy realized he’d been silent a moment too long.

 

“But you’re not mad that he is.” Fuck, was he really that easy to read? “You’re totally in love with Steve.” Billy snorted, rolling his eyes.

 

“I wouldn’t say  _ in love _ , thanks.” He barely knew the guy, now anyway. They were friendly, but they weren’t  _ friends _ . They hung out at parties and talked in the elevator, but Billy wasn’t  _ in love _ with him. He wasn’t sure he’d even been ten years ago. Seventeen year olds couldn’t  _ really _ be in love. Eric was just giving him this look, like he didn’t believe him, and Billy groaned, letting his head fall back against the couch. “I’m not in love with him. I just… Nostalgia’s one hell of a drug man, and it’s all I can fuckin’ think about.” 

 

“Well, this explains a lot.” Eric finally turned his attention back to the game, “He keeps asking about you, but I sort of just figured he was trying to be nice.” That was… surprising? Billy had just assumed Steve was tolerating him for the sake of the group of friends, didn’t want to still be angry if they were gonna be seeing each other a lot.

 

“He asked about me?” That just made Eric snort a laugh, shaking his head.

 

“You two are fucking pathetic.”

 

\-----------

 

_ “You’re staring again.” Billy jumped a little at Max’s voice, thinking she’d already gotten out of the car. He was dropping her off at the arcade, and there was Steve, as always, with those fucking kids.  _

 

_ “Mind your own business,” he elbowed her a little, but he’d been caught. And when Steve waved in their direction, and he smirked and wagged a couple fingers back, max made an vomit noise. _

 

_ “It is my business if you two are gonna eye fuck every time you drop me off somewhere.” She unbuckled, grabbing her skateboard from the back seat, “i don’t care what you get up to, but be careful this time, okay? I don’t want to have to move schools because neil saw you kissing a boy again.” Billy rolled his eyes, and she slid out the door.  _

 

_ “Yeah yeah, watch yourself too, brat. Don’t think he’d be into Lucas hangin’ around you either.” She just stuck flipped him off, throwing the door shut and running up to meet the others, and Billy laughed. Even if they weren’t really related, he’d rubbed off on her somehow. That girl was gonna get herself into trouble. He stayed in the parking lot, watching as the kids ran inside, and Steve looked his way again, cocking an eyebrow before he walked over to the car, leaning down on the open window. “Hey,” Billy grinned, “you doing anything right now?” He just patted the seat next to him, an invitation.  _

 

_ “Yeah, pretty boy. Hop in and I’ll show you.” Steve breathed a laugh, opening the door and sliding in next to Billy, who started the car again, figuring the kids would be preoccupied for at least a couple of hours. He peeled out of the parking lot, hand on Steve’s thigh like he was his fucking girlfriend. Definitely not the subtlety he should have, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care.  _


	5. Ain’t no one else like you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What all you perverts have been waiting for

Eric was right, if he was being honest. 

 

Things were… weird with him and Steve. Not in a bad way, really, but it was hard to just be around each other without some kind of unspoken tension. Billy could feel it, he could feel it in the way Steve looked at him when he thought he wasn’t watching, and he knew he did the same, staring across apartment parties until Eric made fun of him for zoning out. It was stupid. It was fucking torturous, is what it was. So fucking slow burn, the complete opposite of the first time around, when Billy had just drunkenly propositioned him and gotten the whole thing rolling. But he couldn’t do that now, they weren’t teenagers anymore, and he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. He’d barely just managed to get Steve to be talk to him, he didn’t want to fuck that up this quickly. 

 

But they were totally pathetic. Totally and completely. 

 

It was totally pathetic that Billy had figured out that Steve got out of work half an hour after he did, and that he started waiting outside with a cigarette so they could just take the elevator together. It was completely pathetic that he never asked if he wanted to come over for a drink, that he just let him walk out at his floor with a weak goodbye day after day.

 

Today, Steve was late. 

 

Billy checked his watch again, lighting a second cigarette, trying not to be totally obvious about the fact that he was watching down the street, waiting for Steve to bounce into view. When he finally did, it was twenty minutes later than usual, and he looked like shit, only perking up a little when he noticed Billy waiting for him. 

 

“Rough day at the office, princess?” The nicknames had found their way back into his vocabulary, and Steve certainly didn’t seem to mind. 

 

“Yeah. My dad’s in town, so I gotta deal with his senile ass trying to run the office,” he rubbed his hands over his eyes, eyeing Billy’s cigarette. 

 

“You want one?” He started to reach for his pack, but Steve shook his head.

 

“Nah, im trying to quit. But I could definitely use a drink.” Was that an invitation? Billy stubbed his cigarette out under his shoe. 

 

“Well you’re welcome to come up. I’ve got a bottle of whiskey too expensive to drink alone.” He tried to remember whether his apartment was clean right now. Steve shrugged and nodded a little, glancing toward the door. 

 

“Yeah, sure. Better than just going home to tv and leftover Chinese food.” He hiked his bag up on his shoulder a little, “been a while since we did anything just the two of us, anyway.” Billy laughed at that, and Steve smiles a little.

 

“Yeah, well, better ten years late than never, right?” 

 

\-----------

 

Steve was stopping in his apartment first, to change and drop his work bag, which was good, because Billy needed a second to look like he was living better than he was. 

 

It wasn’t  _ that  _ messy, but there were a few dishes in the sink, a shirt or two he’d been too lazy to drop in the hamper, an unmade bed. Cleaning his bedroom was mostly wishful thinking, over optimistic, but he couldn’t really help himself. By the time Steve was knocking on his door, he’d already filled a couple of glasses, and finished half of his own, suddenly feeling a little nervous. He didn’t really have a reason to be. This wasn’t anything, it was just having a drink after work. They were just neighbors, just friends. Steve hasn’t really changed, just taken off his jacket and tie, unbuttoned his shirt a few places. He still managed to look good, even after what was definitely a shit day at work, and Billy tried not to notice, stepping aside to let him in. “You’re lookin more relaxed already.” He rounded his kitchen counter, picking up his glass and motioning to the one he’d already poured for him. “You wanna tell me about your shit day, or would you rather just sit around and not think about it?” Steve smiled a little, picking up his glass and downing half of it in one go. 

 

“There’s not much to tell. Just dealing with a rich old man who thinks he knows everything.” Billy snorted a laugh.

 

“Sounds like most of my childhood,” he took a sip from his glass, leaning on the counter a little, “minus the rich part.”

 

“Yeah, well you had me for that part.” Steve said, taking a drink. 

 

“Yeah, until I ruined that too.” He chewed the inside of his lip, “I’m sorry, for what it’s worth. I was an angsty kid, you just caught the blunt end of it.” Steve was shrugging and giving him an easy smile, that almost felt more genuine than he deserved. 

 

“It’s alright. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did when you first got here. I was just right in the middle of what would end up being a breakup, and it just felt like the world was fucking with me, putting you right here.” His tongue came out to lick his lips absently, and Billy was almost embarrassed by how quickly his eyes followed the motion. 

 

“yeah, I know what you mean,” he scratched his jaw a little, making a mental note to shave in the morning. He cleared his throat a little, glancing at his watch. “I was gonna watch princess bride, it’s on tv in like ten minutes, if you want to stay.” Steve raised an eyebrow at him, a smirk playing at his lips.

 

“How romantic,” it was teasing, and Billy rolled his eyes.

 

“Shut up, It’s a fuckin’ classic movie.” He picked up the bottle and his glass to move and sit on the couch, “if you don’t like it you can go, pretty boy. I don’t need you here to appreciate a good love story.” He heard Steve laugh behind him, but he came over and plopped down on the couch anyway, holding his glass out to Billy for a refill. 

 

“I think you’re just trying to get me to stay and get drunk.” Billy waggled his eyebrows a little, pouring Steve another drink. 

 

“Would that be so bad?” Steve just breathed a laugh and shook his head as Billy turned on the tv and found the channel. 

 

They sat in silence for a while, as the movie started, sipping at their drinks. Billy loved this movie, we much as it might make him seem like a sap. He was spread out on the couch, arm finding its way up along the back, behind Steve. By the time they were halfway through the movie, they’d managed to finish the bottle, and Steve had migrated down the couch, right up into Billy’s space. It made him…. nervous? Giddy? He felt like a teenager again, having to catch his breath when their knees bumped, casting sideways glances at one another when they knew the other wasn’t looking. Eventually, Billy accidentally caught his eye, and then they were both frozen, too close to just look away, breath caught in his throat. His eyes darted down to Steve’s lips and he ran his tongue over his own absently, trying not to think too hard. Then Steve laughed, quiet, and shook his head, breaking both of them out of the tension. 

 

“What?” Steve just breathed another laugh, turning back to face the movie. 

 

“Nothing, it’s just funny that we’re still so… nervous about this after all these years.” Billy raised an eyebrow.

 

“I ain’t nervous, sweetheart.” A lie. Steve turned back to face him, struggling to hide his amusement. 

 

“Then why didn’t you kiss me?” Billy opened his mouth to shoot something back, but couldn’t really think of anything to say. He  _ was  _ nervous. He didn’t want to overstep, didn’t want to make Steve uncomfortable. 

 

“I uh… I didn’t think…” was all he could manage, still watching Steve’s reactions carefully, still fucking  _ nervous _ . God. 

 

“You’re an idiot.” 

 

“Yeah well, I think we both knew that already.” And then Steve was shifting, moving in closer, confident where Billy couldn’t bring himself to be. 

 

“You also talk too much.” He was barely an inch from his face, teasing expression turning to something more sincere as Billy breathed a laugh. 

 

“Funny, I think that one was usually on you, pretty boy.” He barely got the sentence out before Steve was leaning in, just a little, just enough to ghost his lips over Billy’s, and something in him snapped. Suddenly, he was leaning way into Steve’s space, connected at the mouth, kissing him like his life fucking depended on it, because that’s how it  _ felt.  _ It was overwhelming, the feeling in his chest, Steve’s breath against his skin, the way they fell back into it so  _ easily _ . He’d been  _ waiting,  _ he’d been  _ dreaming  _ about this since Steve had walked away all those years ago, who could blame him for being a little eager? He’d ended up basically in Steve’s lap, straddling his legs, fingers roaming, touching every inch of the other that he could. Something in him desperately wanted to catalogue everything about him, just in case this was the only chance he got to do this. He really hoped it wasn’t. Eventually, Steve pulled back, smiling at him, just to catch a breath. 

 

“You know how long I’ve been waiting for you to do that?” Billy rolled his eyes, mouth moving down Steve’s jaw, unable to make himself disconnect from the other. 

 

“I was being a gentleman.” He felt Steve laugh under him, pushing his hands up his shirt, running them down his sides.

 

“Fuck that.” Billy sat back, finally giving himself a moment to really process what was happening here. It was almost too good to be true. This felt like a scenario Billy would imagine, not something that would actually happen, but here they were, and Steve was right here, sitting underneath him, looking up at him with that easy smile. Billy smirked a little, raising an eyebrow as his hands found their way to the button on his pants, flipping it undone. 

 

“You wanna have some fun, pretty boy?” Steve was looking at him like he was trying not to laugh again.

 

“Charming as ever, huh?” Still, he wasn’t stopping him, and Billy’d managed to get his pants unzipped, mouth fucking watering just at the  _ idea  _ of seeing Steve naked again. 

 

“Damn right, baby.” He leaned over to catch Steve’s lips again, hands working to pull his pants free, letting them sit around his thighs. As gracefully as he could, he slid off the couch and onto the floor, sitting back on his haunches in front of Steve, rubbing his hands up his thighs. “Can’t believe I waited a fuckin’ decade to suck your dick again.” Steve snorted, shifting a little in his seat. 

 

“Hope you’ve gotten better at it.” Billy smacked his thigh, a laugh threatening to escape his lips.

 

“Don’t try your luck Harrington. You want a blowjob or not?” He pulled Steve’s boxers down a little, freeing his already hardening cock, giving it a few loose strokes, just to tease. It got a nice little noise out of him as his head fell back against the couch, and Billy grinned. It was too easy. “Seems like your dick missed me.” He leaned forward, running his tongue up the length before sucking just a little at the head, getting another noise out of Steve.

 

“God, been thinking about this since you got here.” Steve’s hand had moved to push into Billy’s hair, and he has to hold his hips down as he took him in at once. If there was anything Billy was good at, it was using his mouth, in any capacity. He popped off again, giving Steve a wolfish grin. 

 

“Yeah? You get off thinkin about it?” He stroked him a few times, not wanting to look away, “what would the neighbors think?” Steve managed a weak laugh, morphing into something closer to a moan as billy got his mouth back on him, blowing him in earnest now. 

 

“ _ Fuck _ , who fucking cares?” Billy hummed around his dick, setting a rhythm for himself, just drinking in all the noises Steve made. He still honestly almost couldn’t believe this was happening. He wished he’d known earlier, he wished he’d listened ten fucking years ago, and maybe this could have been his life, but better late than never. _ This  _ is what he missed. He still knew, still remembered every move to make Steve fall apart, his fingers tightening and loosening in his hair, back arching, sighing out his name. He wasn’t sure he could go without this again. “Oh fuck,  _ Billy,  _ I’m not gonna last much longer.” He wasn’t lying either. It barely took a few more seconds before he was tightening his grip, mumbling something incoherent through a moan, and Billy dutifully swallowed him down, not letting up until Steve physically pulled him away, his breathing heavy. “C’mere,” Billy let himself be pulled back up into Steve’s lap, into a lazy kiss, Steve smoothing his hands over his thighs. Without pulling away, he was undoing Billy’s pants and pulling his cock out, stroking over it, making him sigh into the kiss. He moved slow, lazy, like he didn’t want this to end, which, Billy couldn’t complain. He rolled his hips up a little with each stroke of Steve’s fingers, trying to chase the feeling building in the pit of his stomach. Steve moved to kiss at his jaw, teeth scraping against stubble, sucking at his throat where there would definitely be marks in the morning. He was so  _ tender _ Billy almost wanted to cry. It wasn’t like how they used to do this, all fast and hot and full of hormones. Steve was all soft touches, lathing his tongue over where he’d sucked a mark into his skin before he moved to kiss him again. Billy’s orgasm snuck up on him, spreading through him slow, and he swore against Steve’s mouth, bunching his fists up in his shirt. He pulled back a little, watching as Steve lifted his hand to his lips, sucking the mess off his fingers. 

 

“Fuck. You’re still the hottest fucking person on earth.” Steve grinned, rolling his eyes a little. 

 

“I bet you say that to all the girls.” It was teasing, but Billy shook his head. 

 

“Fuck no. No one ever came close.” He kissed him again, like he just couldn’t stay away, “ain’t no one else like you, pretty boy.” 

 

Steve smiled. 


	6. Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max comes to visit, Billy kind of freaks out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I projecting? Maybe. Do I care? No.

“We’re not  _ dating.  _ We’re just… I don’t know.” 

 

They weren’t dating. That’s not what Billy would call it.

 

Everything was the same as it had been before, Billy still waited up for him outside after work, only now it ended with one of them on their knees, more often than not. 

 

But it wasn’t dating.

 

Except when they went on dates. 

 

As much as he tried to deny it, Billy was totally a romantic. It was almost nauseating, how much he wanted to just hold Steve’s hand, or snake his arm around him in a theater, or kiss him goodnight outside his door, even though it rarely ended there. He  _ liked  _ Steve, a lot, but something in him was still cautious, still doubting himself. 

 

So they weren’t dating. 

 

“Okay, you’re not dating. But you’re  _ something _ , enough that you felt like you had to warn me before I came.” Max had always been able to see right through him, even over the phone. She was planning to come and visit in a few days, something for her new job meant she needed to be in Chicago, so she was going to stay with him. Billy wasn’t complaining. He missed that brat. She’d only graduated college the year before, but she was already doing so much better than he had been at her age. Fancy job, nice apartment, bright future, all that shit. “Look, whatever you are, it’s insane that it’s happening, you know that right?” Billy hummed in response, dropping down on his couch, beer in hand. “Like, you sound like you’re living in a goddamn romance novel. A second chance with the one that got away isn’t something most people get.” Billy rolled his eyes, and max scoffed like she could see him. 

 

“He’s not the one who got away,  _ Maxine _ . He’s just… I don’t know what he is.” This time, he was the one who could tell she was rolling her eyes, and he sighed. 

 

“Yeah, ok. Tell that to your gay ass crying over that boy every night for  _ months _ .” 

 

“Not  _ months _ .”

 

“You know what I mean.” He did. He’d been upset, heartbroken, after Steve left, even if he tried to hide it. They may not be blood related, but Max sure knew how to read him like family would.

 

“ _ Fine _ , I know.” He downed the rest of his bottle, shaking it a little. 

 

“Just don’t fuck it up.” Billy snorted, “I know you don’t think you deserve it, but you’re good for each other. Don’t let him walk away this time.” 

 

“I didn’t  _ let _ him wa-“

 

“ _ Billy  _ just fucking  _ listen _ to me, okay?” He didn’t finish the sentence, “I know you well enough to know you like to self sabotage. He  _ likes  _ you and you’re  _ happy,  _ for the first time in a really long time. Just… please try.” Her tone was far too serious for his taste. He wasn’t  _ good  _ at talking about serious shit, which was why he fucked things up so often. 

 

“Yeah, alright.” That seemed to satisfy her, and he sighed, sinking farther into the couch. “What about you, kid? You and that Lucas kid still makin’ it work, or?” He heard her laugh, like she didn’t want to answer, and then there was a knock at the door, startling him just a little. “It’s open!” He yelled it across the room, knowing it could only really be Eric or Steve. Lucky for him, it was the latter. “Speak of the Devil, alright you get out of talking about it right now, but your gonna give me all the dirty details when you get here.” Steve plopped down next to him on the couch, Billy’s arm instinctively snaking around his shoulders. “Call me before you fly, yeah?”

 

“Yeah yeah, now hang up before you two take off your clothes. I don’t need to hear that shit.” Billy barked a laugh, rolling his eyes. 

 

“Love you too, sis.” She hung up before he did, and he dropped the phone back into the cradle, turning his attention to Steve. 

 

“My ears are burning,” he leaned into Billy, amusement manifesting on his face.

 

“Someone’s psychic,” Billy grinned right back, “You should really thank Max when she comes, you know. All she ever fuckin’ does is lecture me on how not to fuck this up.” Steve snorted a laugh, rolling his eyes. 

 

“She has so little faith in me, as if I’d ever let you.” He deserved that implication, completely. Anyone who knew Billy longer than five minutes could see he had a tendency towards self destruction. “Not like she’s one to be giving relationship advice right now anyway, with what I’m hearing from the rest of those kids.” Billy’s eyebrows shot up, and he looked over at Steve.  _ Relationship _ . That wasn’t a word they’d thrown around before. But he wasn’t exactly keen to have that conversation now. So he defaulted to Max. 

 

“You know what’s up? She won’t tell me.” He nudged him a little, “c’mon pretty boy, give me the hot gossip.” Steve just laughed again, shaking his head. 

 

“Are you kidding? When she’s about to be here? If she found me out she’d have me hung. I think you just need to be patient.” Billy groaned, but he knew Steve was right. He sunk down a little farther into the couch, into Steve. 

 

“Since when are you more afraid of my little sister than you are of me?” He pouted a little, mostly to tease Steve, looking up at him. Steve just laughed, running his fingers through Billy’s hair absently. 

 

“Like it or not, you’ve gone soft, bad boy.” Billy leaned into his touch a little, which only fuckin’ proved Steve’s point and he knew it, “But I think I like soft better.” 

 

\-----------

 

Billy spent the entire day before Max arrived getting his apartment ready. He wanted her to see he was doing well, even in this dingey little place. Steve sat on his couch while he frantically cleaned up and rearranged, making vague comments about how he shouldn’t have to worry about it, and she’d be glad to just see him out of Hawkins.

 

But still. 

 

It wasn’t like he had anything to prove to her, it was mostly what he had to prove to himself. He’d gotten out, sure, but he wanted her to feel it, to know exactly how he was doing just from looking around the place. Having Steve around helped with that, the one thing in his life he really had to be proud of. 

 

He was absolutely falling in love. 

 

He knew it in the way he caught himself looking at Steve, the way he couldn’t stop thinking about how  _ lucky  _ he was. But he couldn’t say it, not out loud, not yet. He couldn’t even really admit it to himself yet, but something in him knew. Maybe it had just never gone away.

 

Billy even planned a party for her visit, wanted her to meet his friends, wanted her to have some fun, and not just work and watch tv and sleep in his apartment for a weekend. 

 

She arrived Saturday afternoon, pulling Billy into a tight hug when he picked her up at the airport, which he protested, but was grateful for nonetheless. “Missed you too, kid.” 

 

The party was in full swing by 10. Billy had dragged max around, introducing her to people, letting them whisk her away to interrogate her about what Billy was like when they were growing up. He trusted her not to give away too much... maybe. He could see her gossiping with Eric now, glancing his way every couple of minutes, fuckin’ brats, both of em’. 

 

By midnight, everyone was drunk, or high, or fuckin whatever, Billy included. He was sitting on the couch, arm around Steve, laughing as Max took a hit someone offered her, coughing a little. 

 

“Yeah, sorry kid. Ain’t the good shit you’ve got back in California.” She just rolled her eyes at him, sipping a beer to keep from coughing again. 

 

“Coulda warned me, asshole.” Billy just shrugged, feigning innocence.

 

“How was I supposed to know you’d be too pussy for some shitty weed?” Max threw the lighter at him, and Billy caught it, tossing it back to Eric, who looked like he was going to lose his mind watching the two of them Bicker. And then, well… then there was Steve, pressing into his side, laughing quietly at the two of them. Steve gets  _ touchy _ when he’s drunk. He may have gone soft, but he couldn’t help that it embarrassed him a little to have Steve whispering in his ear and wrapping his arms around his torso every ten seconds.

 

Billy hadn’t ever been one for PDA. Not while he was dating anyone, anyway. Sure, he wasn’t exactly shy about  _ flirting _ in public, wagging his tongue out and winking at anyone who caught his eye, but this was different. This was the shit that would have gotten him killed the first time around, if the wrong people had seen. And this was the first party since they’d started… whatever this was. Everyone here  _ knew  _ what was going on, and if they hadn’t before, they certainly did now with the way Steve was petting him, combing through Billy’s hair, leaning his head on his shoulder. It would be nice if he didn’t feel so  _ exposed _ .

 

Max was watching them, smiling softly, but when Billy caught her eye, she made a kissy face, just to tease him, and Billy felt his face getting hot. And then Eric caught on, snickering a little, putting a hand over his heart. He felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin.  _ Fuck _ . He knew it was irrational, it was stupid and he was being reactionary. He liked Steve, he might even  _ love _ Steve, but that was for  _ him  _ to know, and for  _ them  _ to find out. The way those two were looking at him, it felt like they were in on some secret he didn’t get to know, and it was  _ fucking _ annoying. Now, his shoulder burned where Steve was leaning on it, he was hyper aware of every touch, how they might see it, how he might look.  _ ‘Oh Billy, soft Billy, so in love and he doesn’t even know it. Hope he doesn’t fuck this one up.’  _ They could suck his dick, what the fuck did they know?  _ Fuck. _ He really thought he was past this shit. “Fuck.” He stood up, faster than was normal, startling Steve out of his position a little, “I’m uh… I’m gonna go out for a smoke.” And then he was out the door. He just needed some air, that’s all. Just needed a second to breathe. 

 

Leave it to Steve to follow him down.

 

He wasn’t sure why he would have expected anything else. He could see it, the worry in Max’s face, the hushed tones as Steve got up a moment later, assuring her that he’d check on Billy. He didn’t need to fuckin’ be  _ checked on _ . He just needed a smoke. Just a fucking moment of peace. 

 

He knew he wasn’t going to get it, he could see Steve bouncing down the stairs. He knew this was about to be a whole  _ thing _ .

 

“Hey,” Steve was looking at him like he was worried, brow furrowed, the corners of his lips turned down slightly. “You okay?” He found his way to the wall next to Billy, leaning on it a little, still watching him carefully. 

 

“I’m fine.” It was too curt, he could hear it, but he couldn’t stop himself. He was high strung, already sucking down the whole cigarette and getting another out. Steve didn’t look convinced.

 

“Come on Billy.” He could feel him getting a little closer, trying to coax an answer out of him. This was  _ stupid.  _ “Doesn’t seem like you’re fine. What’s wrong?” Billy sighed, slumping against the wall a little, not really wanting to have this conversation right now. He wasn’t even sure what the conversation was. But Steve was snaking an arm around him, and Billy let him, and that wasn’t something he would have done ten years ago. So that’s growth, right? He took a long drag before finally looking over at him. Steve was drunk, he could see it, but he was sweet enough that he’d dragged his drunk ass down the stairs just to check on Billy. He didn’t deserve that.  _ Fuck. _

 

“Why are you with me, Steve?” He knew this was the worst time to ask this, that Steve wasn’t in a state of mind where he could give a real answer, but he kind of felt like he was going to combust if he didn’t. “ _ Are _ you with me? I don’t really know what this is.” He could feel Steve lose that looseness to his stance, and he almost couldn’t bring himself to look over at him, to confront the conversation he’d just started. Steve just huffed a laugh, pulling Billy a little closer in. 

 

“Because I like you, idiot.” And Billy could almost believe that. He wanted to so badly. “And… I mean, I don’t know what this is either. But I don’t plan on seeing anyone else, or leaving, if that’s what you’re asking.” He almost felt guilty for even asking, for questioning Steve’s judgement like that. “Is that why you freaked out? Was it something I said?” Billy just shook his head, letting out smoke with a sigh.

 

“No. Sorry I did that, I didn’t mean to make anyone worry. It’s not your fault.” He chewed the inside of his lip a little, still not looking at Steve, still watching the ash float to the ground. “I just got… overwhelmed. I guess. Everyone was looking at us like… like they know what’s going through my head. I don’t know.” It sounded even more ridiculous when he said it out loud, and he shook his head, breathing a laugh. “God, that sounds stupid. I just know they all think I’m soft now, and that I’m… in love, or something. Which, maybe they’re right, but  _ they  _ shouldn’t know that before  _ I  _ even do.” And he could  _ feel _ Steve looking at him, it was like his eyes were burning through Billy’s skin. 

 

“Are you?” Steve’s voice was softer, and when Billy finally looked over at him, he lost whatever words were rising in his throat. Those doe eyes, a little glazed from the alcohol, looking at him like he wanted that answer to be yes. How could he not be fuckin’ in love with him? 

 

“I…” God, why did he have to try to do this right now? Why couldn’t he have just said ‘I’m fine’ and gone back upstairs and been done with it? “I don’t know, Steve.” He could see the way his face fell, and mentally cursed himself for thinking any of this was a good idea. “That doesn’t mean I’m not. Or that I won’t be. I just don’t like other people deciding for me.” Steve nodded, still silent, clearly trying to get his head around everything Billy was saying through his drunken haze.

 

“Okay.” He nodded again, blinking slowly, “I can work with that.” He smiled at him, lopsided and fucking gorgeous. Billy was so far fuckin’ gone. He snorted a laugh, rolling his eyes a little.

 

“Come on, fuckin’ sap. Let’s go back upstairs.” He nudged Steve a little, finally able to take a breath, clear the anxiety that had been pressing at his chest. 

  
  



End file.
